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The pious monkey, in the tree of leafy goodness,(whilst arm wrestling the small indigenous yet zealous boxing tiger) playfully twirled some fine strands of brownish hair; which had originally belonged to Mr. Beaver the unhappy and unfaithably married lectrologist who had been unable to fathom the reason why his bed had sprung a leak( it was a canoe: he was a terrible lectrologist).
The Monkey, realising he was losing the arm wrestle, started to use he monkey strength, augmented by the fact the the hair gives super powers ( i forgot to mention this for shits and giggles). The zealous boxing tiger, having lost the arm wrestle, tried to regain his macho status by challenging Rocky Balboa to a... fight. Unfortunately for Sylvester Stallone he isn't actually a boxer and consequently shat his pants after the tiger punched him in the throat ( The dry cleaning bill for this was so large it actually caused the dry cleaning business owner to have to borrow large sums of money from a well known american bank. Not having the money pay the loan back, the bank then went bust and the subsequent events led to the 2009-10 Global Recession).
Stallone, now pantless and bedridden, started to dictate his memoirs in a stephen hawking-esque manner in hopes to raise the funds for pants and neck surgery. The book was a great success, generating millions of pounds towards the Pants/Surgery fund, in Stallone's Mind.......he had slipped into a coma ( no one had noticed a change in his behaviour) and was dreaming of a world where he could walk down the street without getting arrested for public indecency or at least where he could appear in a series of films with questionable facial expressions and quality.
Due to the lack of aforesaid films many hardcore fans created a cult in which they decided it must be true that if they obtained some fine strands of golden hair rumoured to bring healing powers they may revive their fallen hero whereupon they could kill and eat him, thereby gaining immortality ( i never mentione...d that they were a smart cult, but they were determined and scarily aggressive). Their plan hit a brickwall however whenthey discovered the the hairs where in the possession of the pious Monkey who then declared that the cult was an "affront to his God" and proceeded to vigorously and somehow delacately remove the limbs of the cult members entirely.
The Zealous Boxing Tiger was imprisoned on a minor Littering charge.
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