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I Couldn't Hold My Liquor.... |
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My boss, her boyfriend (who was our manager), my husband, myself, and another co-worker all decided to go out for drinks and to watch a band play.
I very loudly protested against any alcohol-tasting drink right from the beginning. So, my boss suggested a kind of mixed drink she promised would taste like Dr. Pepper. I thought, "How bad could it be?"
Well, I got the drink, and found that it was icky and alcohol-y like all the other drinks I've tasted. So, I sipped slowly and carefully. I guess it didn't matter, because I still managed to get wasted!
I'm told I somehow got a hold of straight rum, drank a ton of that, and that in my drunken stupor, I was stealing swigs from my friends' unsupervised beers! I'm a total lightweight anyway, but mixing drinks is bad news! My husband didn't really try and stop me, either, because he thought I was quite entertaining.
My boss told me I drug her with me to the bathroom about 50 times, and that I even knelt before the toilet to barf. I not only had the stall door open, but I proceeded to squirt sanitizer gel all over the toilet seat! At least I had the presence of mind to fight germs... She also told me I pulled my husband to the dance floor and grinded on him to some really stupid music!
So, I insisted that we leave, because I had to barf really badly. I put my seat all the way down as my husband drove. We were zooming down I-5 with my boss' car in the lane next to us. (I remember this part) I moaned, "OMG I gotta barf...." My husband let his foot off the gas, like that would help. LOL. I frantically searched for a barf receptacle, and all I could find was an empty 7 UP 12 pk. box.
I put my mouth on the hole, and projectile barf spewed from within me. It was HORRIBLE-I had no control over what I was doing. I heard myself make these otherworldly noises as I barfed, too! "Blahalalalahbhalalalblahalaaaaauahhhhh". After that, I heard my husband bust out laughing.
The absolute WORST part was that I didn't realize the box I grabbed was torn out at both ends, so liquid puke dripped out of the box, down my lap, and the seats of the car!!
I guess I passed out cold when I got home and my husband went and got the kiddoes from my mom and dad's.
I felt lightheaded and dizzy for DAYS after. I probably had alcohol poisoning. I managed to go to work, but of course, I got made fun of for making a total ass of myself!
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